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Post by HHDeception on Sept 24, 2014 22:19:45 GMT -6
Summary of the Final Fantasy Series from FF1 to FF10 for EoF's benefit for teh lulz Why only that many? I haven't played any others. FF1: Four heroes of light kill a knight, and then four fiends, and then go back in time to make sure the fiends were never born, only to find that the knight they killed at the start was brought back in time too in order to give birth to them. They kill him again. FF2: Four orphans are trashed by the knights of an evil empire. One of them goes missing and later turns out to be un-repentingly evil, and every single other person that tries to help them dies (except the hot pirate lady). The good orphans kill the Emperor and send him to hell. But the Emperor then takes over hell, so they have to go down there and kill him a second time. Meanwhile, it turns out the Emperor also took over heaven while he was dead, and so all their dead allies team up and kill him up there too. FF3: Four orphans are chosen by the crystals to bring balance to the world, which is a lot bigger than the floating continent they live on. There's this big bad warlock guy called Xande who went insane after his master left him nothing but the gift of mortality. But it turns out he was just being used by a Cloud of Darkness taking the form of a scantily clad woman. The orphans beat everything up. FF4: A dark knight named Cecil rebels against his evil empire. He class changes to a Paladin (so we know he's good) and discovers a plot by this evil warlock named Golbez to steal crystals and unleash darkness or something. Along the way he gets lots of people killed off for fake. It turns out Golbez is Cecil's brother, and he was just being mind controlled by evil darkness from the moon. Oh yeah, Cecil and Golbez are from the moon. So they go to the moon and beat everything up. FF5: A hobo meets a princess, an amnesiac old man, and a crossdressing pirate lady. An evil tree is trying to destroy the world by breaking all the crystals so they have to stop him. They do. And they meet Gilgamesh. Gilgamesh is awesome. FF6: In a world that can't use magic, an evil empire is making genetic super soldiers that can. One of them is an insane clown, who eventually becomes a god. He destroys the world, but is eventually killed by over a dozen little people/moogles/yeti with their own life affirming story arcs that sound like they came out of a self help book. Also, a guy suplexes a train. FF7: An amnesiac super soldier named Cloud becomes an eco-terrorist only to fail horribly and get a city destroyed. It also turns out that his idol Sephiroth is actually a homicidal maniac who thinks an evil alien is his mom, and wants to become an alien god. In order to do this, his plan is to smash a meteor the planet. After numerous identity crises, Cloud mans up and chops Sephiroth up into itty-bitty pieces. Also, Aeris dies. FF8: An emo military school student named Squall accidentally joins a terrorist group led by a girl who is totally into the emo military school type. He turns off the emo and falls in love with her. The end. Well, there's also this sorceress who appears out of nowhere and wants to compress time by possessing Squall's girlfriend, half-sister, foster mom, and a very androgynous alien on the moon, but they kill her. FF9: A perfect angel of death (who forgot he's an angel of death) goes off with some friends to fight an evil empire. It turns out there's a not-so-perfect-but-very-metro angel of death behind that plot, and when he finds out he's not-so-perfect he decides to destroy all of reality. They stop him. FFX: A summoner girl named Yuna gathers people to protect her as she travels across the world to sacrifice her life to summon something to kill the giant evil sky whale terrorizing the land. One of these people is an underwater soccer player from the distant technologically advanced past named Tidus. Along the way, they fall in love and Tidus does her in a lake. It later turns out that Tidus is literally just a dream who will go away when the game is over. It also turns out that the giant evil sky whale is Tidus's abusive father. In the end, Yuna decides not to sacrifice her life, and so her team is forced to engage the giant evil sky whale in hand-to-hand combat. They win.
A few years later, Yuna finds some friends to become fanservicey magical girls. They play carnival games, abolish political establishments, dance to music, give massages, extort money from people for their monster fighting services, have a hot springs episode, make monkeys mate, and shakey-shake their way up to a doomsday weapon to destroy it in hand-to-hand combat. As a result, Tidus comes back. |
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Post by AlmosDug on Sept 24, 2014 22:25:16 GMT -6
I must protest Exdeath being referred to as a tree. He only ended as a tree, he wasn't always a tree.
And Gil was the broest of bros.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 24, 2014 22:27:27 GMT -6
You just forgot to add everything happens w/ Smexy results. Other then that love the recap.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 24, 2014 22:29:17 GMT -6
Yeah Gilgamesh was the broest bro out there. He has to be in a recurring role somehow as a rival who's bad does more good then harm or as a bumbling traveler
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Post by HHDeception on Sept 24, 2014 22:30:03 GMT -6
I must protest Exdeath being referred to as a tree. He only ended as a tree, he wasn't always a tree. And Gil was the broest of bros. No, he's a tree. You might be thinking of Enuo, but Enuo isn't Exdeath. They sealed Enuo in the void, and then sealed the void to trap him inside. But then they didn't have anywhere where to seal all the other evil in, so they picked a tree and sealed the evil in the tree. That tree came to life and became Exdeath. |
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Post by AlmosDug on Sept 24, 2014 22:32:14 GMT -6
F***, I forgot about his backstory. His sprite as a giant f***ing knight really stood out in my head...
Enuo felt lackluster. And I hated how you had to break the game over your knee just to beat Shinryu and Omega (both forms). Enuo seemed like weaksauce.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 24, 2014 22:39:03 GMT -6
Omega was a pain and that was only his first form. And Shinryu was a whole other sort of pain and that was only his first form you fought in the treasure chest
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Post by The Big Cheese on Sept 25, 2014 6:51:50 GMT -6
Omega was a pain and that was only his first form. And Shinryu was a whole other sort of pain and that was only his first form you fought in the treasure chest Two Words: Coral Rings And then Jump, Jump, Jump. |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 25, 2014 8:42:38 GMT -6
So....how was that prologue for Salem?
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Post by AlmosDug on Sept 25, 2014 10:39:45 GMT -6
So....how was that prologue for Salem? "Time to dance!" Good critical quote. |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 25, 2014 11:55:59 GMT -6
I'll make it a verbal tic for Mark also... I like it.
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Post by The Big Cheese on Sept 25, 2014 13:28:33 GMT -6
Summary of the Final Fantasy Series from FF1 to FF10 for EoF's benefit for teh lulz Why only that many? I haven't played any others. FF1: Four heroes of light kill a knight, and then four fiends, and then go back in time to make sure the fiends were never born, only to find that the knight they killed at the start was brought back in time too in order to give birth to them. They kill him again. FF2: Four orphans are trashed by the knights of an evil empire. One of them goes missing and later turns out to be un-repentingly evil, and every single other person that tries to help them dies (except the hot pirate lady). The good orphans kill the Emperor and send him to hell. But the Emperor then takes over hell, so they have to go down there and kill him a second time. Meanwhile, it turns out the Emperor also took over heaven while he was dead, and so all their dead allies team up and kill him up there too. FF3: Four orphans are chosen by the crystals to bring balance to the world, which is a lot bigger than the floating continent they live on. There's this big bad warlock guy called Xande who went insane after his master left him nothing but the gift of mortality. But it turns out he was just being used by a Cloud of Darkness taking the form of a scantily clad woman. The orphans beat everything up. FF4: A dark knight named Cecil rebels against his evil empire. He class changes to a Paladin (so we know he's good) and discovers a plot by this evil warlock named Golbez to steal crystals and unleash darkness or something. Along the way he gets lots of people killed off for fake. It turns out Golbez is Cecil's brother, and he was just being mind controlled by evil darkness from the moon. Oh yeah, Cecil and Golbez are from the moon. So they go to the moon and beat everything up. FF5: A hobo meets a princess, an amnesiac old man, and a crossdressing pirate lady. An evil tree is trying to destroy the world by breaking all the crystals so they have to stop him. They do. And they meet Gilgamesh. Gilgamesh is awesome. FF6: In a world that can't use magic, an evil empire is making genetic super soldiers that can. One of them is an insane clown, who eventually becomes a god. He destroys the world, but is eventually killed by over a dozen little people/moogles/yeti with their own life affirming story arcs that sound like they came out of a self help book. Also, a guy suplexes a train. FF7: An amnesiac super soldier named Cloud becomes an eco-terrorist only to fail horribly and get a city destroyed. It also turns out that his idol Sephiroth is actually a homicidal maniac who thinks an evil alien is his mom, and wants to become an alien god. In order to do this, his plan is to smash a meteor the planet. After numerous identity crises, Cloud mans up and chops Sephiroth up into itty-bitty pieces. Also, Aeris dies. FF8: An emo military school student named Squall accidentally joins a terrorist group led by a girl who is totally into the emo military school type. He turns off the emo and falls in love with her. The end. Well, there's also this sorceress who appears out of nowhere and wants to compress time by possessing Squall's girlfriend, half-sister, foster mom, and a very androgynous alien on the moon, but they kill her. FF9: A perfect angel of death (who forgot he's an angel of death) goes off with some friends to fight an evil empire. It turns out there's a not-so-perfect-but-very-metro angel of death behind that plot, and when he finds out he's not-so-perfect he decides to destroy all of reality. They stop him. FFX: A summoner girl named Yuna gathers people to protect her as she travels across the world to sacrifice her life to summon something to kill the giant evil sky whale terrorizing the land. One of these people is an underwater soccer player from the distant technologically advanced past named Tidus. Along the way, they fall in love and Tidus does her in a lake. It later turns out that Tidus is literally just a dream who will go away when the game is over. It also turns out that the giant evil sky whale is Tidus's abusive father. In the end, Yuna decides not to sacrifice her life, and so her team is forced to engage the giant evil sky whale in hand-to-hand combat. They win.
A few years later, Yuna finds some friends to become fanservicey magical girls. They play carnival games, abolish political establishments, dance to music, give massages, extort money from people for their monster fighting services, have a hot springs episode, make monkeys mate, and shakey-shake their way up to a doomsday weapon to destroy it in hand-to-hand combat. As a result, Tidus comes back. I figure I'll add the Ivalice games, since they're relevent to this RP. Also because I know very little about the XIII trilogy. FFT: A young squire named Ramza is soon to be a fully fledged knight, but gets his silver spoon metaphorically shoved down his throat in a series of overly complex backstabbings. He signs up as a sellsword and winds up killing Jesus to save his sister. Also, his peasant friend bags a princess... then stabs her. FFTA: Three kids with s****y lives read a magic book that transports them to a magical world, where you play as the villain destroying the crystals so that he can ruin his friends' and brother's lives all over again. SOME interpretations have you as the hero coveting truth over escapism, but c'mon. FFXII: Shirtless metro street rat Vaan does absolutely nothing of importance while real main characters Ashe, Basch and Balthier unravel a complex web of deceit in the empire of Archades, who invaded their home kingdom of Dalmasca. Eventually they kill the power hungry Consul, Vayne, who became a Mecha-Airship-Dragon or something.
In the sequel, Revenant Wings, Vaan continues being unimportant but happens to help a smexy Hawk Laguz Dragoon guy save his floating continent from a psycho Viera who tries to resurrect a sky god because of her daddy issues or something. FFTA2: Young trouble maker Luso finds a magic book in a library that just HAPPENS to be maintained by a guy with the same last name as the shy friend from FFTA, but I wouldn't read too much into it. He then goes on a series of pointless adventures, swinging swords, slapping hoes and destroying the fabric of the universe all while getting back home on time to eat dinner with his grandma. |
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Post by empireoffire on Sept 25, 2014 13:41:17 GMT -6
FFTA2: Young trouble maker Luso finds a magic book in a library that just HAPPENS to be maintained by a guy with the same last name as the shy friend from FFTA, but I wouldn't read too much into it. He then goes on a series of pointless adventures, swinging swords, slapping hoes and destroying the fabric of the universe all while getting back home on time to eat dinner with his grandma. But no one cares about the main story because the sidequests are 10 times better. |
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Post by The Big Cheese on Sept 25, 2014 13:52:57 GMT -6
FFTA2: Young trouble maker Luso finds a magic book in a library that just HAPPENS to be maintained by a guy with the same last name as the shy friend from FFTA, but I wouldn't read too much into it. He then goes on a series of pointless adventures, swinging swords, slapping hoes and destroying the fabric of the universe all while getting back home on time to eat dinner with his grandma. But no one cares about the main story because the sidequests are 10 times better. That's not saying much, but yeah. The main attraction is the sexy gameplay and character building. |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 25, 2014 14:33:59 GMT -6
Oh yeah, Ramza!
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Post by HHDeception on Sept 26, 2014 11:50:22 GMT -6
So the plan is to start the real RP this Saturday, unless people aren't done their prologues yet, or are all done already. Let me know how much more time you think you'll need.
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Post by Golurkcanfly on Sept 26, 2014 12:10:36 GMT -6
I'm almost finished.
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Post by The Big Cheese on Sept 26, 2014 12:27:29 GMT -6
So the plan is to start the real RP this Saturday, unless people aren't done their prologues yet, or are all done already. Let me know how much more time you think you'll need. Hmmm... I would probably need two to four posts, depending on the length I would have the attention span to give them... |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 26, 2014 12:32:57 GMT -6
I know I am almost ready to post.
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Post by empireoffire on Sept 26, 2014 12:34:18 GMT -6
I don't think I really need a prologue.
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