~ Oz: Mailbag of Legends - Season 1 Debut Discussion!!

It's coming! Tonight! After work!

Neo, wanna do the Aris/Leo episode afterward?

With the baggy robes hanging on the closet door (for it gets too hot after a while wearing it), Yancy finished brushing her hair, inspecting herself in the large mirror of the hostess's dressing room that she commandeered for her personal use. Beside her, Togekiss, Ursaring, and Gallade were making themselves look presentable for the show. In the background, Serperior was slithering around Golurk's body, vigorously cleaning it of the grime, stains, and other words suggesting "dirty". The robot silently observed as the serpent did her magic and made him spick-and-span.

It's been a while since I've done something like this. There's no real reason for me to go out of my way to do my best -- they don't deserve it if they wanted to present me out there like...

Yancy looked over the scandalous garment she was forced into before the show. She blushed at the thought of anyone else seeing her like that.

...But anyway, there's something inside me that's telling me that I should at the very least try. I should still have some Nancy in me!

A beep from a digital clock signified that it was time to get onstage. Yancy pulled up on the white stockings running up her smooth thighs for some additional comfort, briefly leaned forward to inspect her Pokemon for business, then -- satisfied -- jogged over to the baggy robes to conceal her figure (and about time, for it gets too cold after a while not wearing it), recalled her Pokemon, and made her way to the stage.

---

Theme song, fireworks, dancing monkeys. What would be a show without 'em?

Yancy twirled onstage amidst fireworks and tossed her Pokeballs into the air. They opened up, and her Pokemon each fell onto the stage adjacent to each other in stylish flourishes, greeting the cheering audience. Yancy was grateful that the stage didn't break from Ursaring or Golurk crashing down from above.

"Welcome, ladies, gentlemen, and everything else in the spectrum!" she declared. "It's time for Oz: Mailbag of Legends; presented by Yancy!"

Cheers and applause.

"Before we begin, I've reviewed over each of your suggestions about what to do with a certain money-grubbing witch, and there were some very nice ideas in the mix! However, a combination of a lack of certain resources, lack of costumes in my size--"

That I would be willing to wear in public.

"--and personal morals means that some of them might've been altered in the transition or not done entirely. My deepest apologies. But with that, lets roll out the red carpet for the redhead!"

A steel cage descended from the ceiling. Within it laid Anna, stuffed into the suit of a dentally-challenged simian with giant monkey arms of death. She had her arms crossed with a grumpy expression, with a stack of cards next to her (the executives insisted that Anna still read out the questions).

"Anna Kong, everyone!" Yancy declared.

The audience laughed, much to Anna's fury. Someone tossed a banana in the Kong's general direction. They yelled out a "worth it!" as they were 'escorted' away by security.

"Let's begin with the interview!" Yancy said, doing her best to hide her dread about the questions she wasn't allowed to review in advance. "But be careful, Ms. Kong! I have a big red button in my robe pockets that you don't want pushed, so don't push me into using it!"

Anna grumbled something child-unfriendly under her breath as she drew a handful of cards from the stack.

How would you feel if someone had a slight waifu obsession with you?

Yancy: Still no quality control, I see...

"Well, I'm pretty sure that I've had a few people get a celebrity crush on me, so I wouldn't think much of it, as long as they don't do anything bad about it."

A few members of the audience shamelessly plead guilty.

What do you consider your best trait?

Yancy: "Apart from my singing, I haven't really considered anything I do or have done to be anything special. I guess I'm... easy to talk to, I guess?"

Anna: "Ahh, so humble."

Yancy snapped back to Anna Kong. "What was that?!" she demanded.

"N-Nothing," Anna Kong stuttered.

What is your preferred form of swimwear?

Yancy: "Something that leaves to the imagination, unlike some I've been in. Maybe a tankini and shorts... Oooh, or maybe those long skirts that open from the side!"

Anna: "What about in private? Or with a certain someone by your side? Would you show some skin then?"

Yancy: "T-That's private!"

She presented a red button out of her pocket. Anna flinched. She didn't know what would happen if it were ever pressed, but didn't really want to take her chances.

What were your parents like? Is pink hair genetic?

Yancy: "My hair color came from my father's grandmother. It skipped a generation. My parents are both amazing people, even if my dad was a little bit too doting on his kids sometimes. I often wish I could've written to them more often."

I like shorts they are nice and comfy do you like shorts?

Yancy: "I think skirts are a bit more comfortable for me. Of course, I prefer shorts when it involves more physical activity so that I don't... reveal myself on accident. I hope the stores in Oz could give me something to wear out on the field, seeing as I wasn't brought with my field uniform."

Anna: "Hit up my sisters sometime."

If all your Pokemon got into a fight among themselves, who would win?

Yancy: "It might honestly be between Gallade and Golurk. They and Ursaring are better at fighting among us, but Gallade would have the type advantage."

Ursaring: "It is my greatest shame that I have no counterargument."

Togekiss: "But Serperior was trained by Nate, wasn't she?"

Serperior: "Ugh. Spare me from your barbaric contests of valor. I'd much rather spend my time doing more important things, like sitting around looking pretty."

Gallade: "Well, mudball? Think you can beat down your sergeant?"

Golurk: "Analyzing target's threat level... analyzing... Target's threat level identified as: C. Chance of victory: 78%."

Yancy: "This is not the time for that, both of you!"

What type of financial assets do you have after your previous career? Are you wealthy?

Yancy: "I left my assets to my parents before I joined Mewtwo and became a non-person as far as Nova was concerned. I really don't like to sound like I'm bragging, but I was well off, and it never sounded like my parents were ever in financial straits since."

Anna: "Hashtag: humblebrag."

Yancy: "Two strikes!"

Anna cursed her big mouth.

The alola region sounds like a great place to visit right?

Yancy: "I've gone a few times; but always on business instead of during a vacation, unfortunately. It looked like a place I'd like to relax in, even despite their Team Skull problem."

If you never managed to return home, what would you miss the most?

Yancy: "My friends and especially my family... But I'm going to try to be optimistic about it!"

Rank the following Pokevillans from best to worst:

Team: Rocket, Aqua, Magma, Galactic, Plasma, Skull

Yancy: "Well, Galactic helped us get out of prison, so I guess they're the best. Present Team Plasma are actually admirable for the most part, I think. I've seen Aqua and Magma on Yveltal's side, so I guess they're okay. Skull are just regular hooligans, so they're better than Rocket, at least. Team Plasma of the past is just the worst. I'm pretty biased, though..."

Who's your favorite legendary?

Yancy: "Why, Manaphy, of course! She's always such a sweetheart!"

How Can Mirrors Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real?

Yancy: "Because even if your eyes are artificial, you as a person, and the things you see, are still real."

Anna: "I think you're the first person in a while to actually take that question seriously."

If there was the possibility of Joshua being mind controlled and only pretending to be himself, how would you try and figure out if he is or not?

Yancy: "I would probably make references to things that have never actually happened back in our world and see his response. Or maybe ask his Pokemon if anything suspicious has happened... No, actually, I would try to make him use his Cosmic Drive with the Pokemon! Those only work with a strong bond with the Pokemon, which the brainwasher wouldn't have!"

You have gotten plenty of multi-dimensional fans through your appearances on this show, to the point that they keep voting you back on. What would you like to say to these people?

Yancy: "...Please stop voting for me. The things they make me wear and are planning to force me to do keep getting worse!"

Anna: "But you're so good for ratings! And I've told you before: if you're so nubile, you should be flaunt--"

Yancy pressed the red button. A gang of Flying Monkeys dressed in overall and wielding toy mallets materialized in Anna Kong's cage as a retro tune began to play on the speakers. The Monkeys then began to beat the tar out of the Kong, spreading question cards everywhere as their mallets squeaked whenever they made contact with the Kong. Anna's yelps of distress were drowned out by the audience's laughter.

"...We'll be right back!" Yancy chimed with a wink.

After taking a moment to go back to the dressing room, take off her robes for a few minutes for some air, and rinse herself in the showers to wipe off some sweat, Yancy -- back in her form-concealing robes -- joined the audience back onstage. There was a suspicious curtain set up on stage.

"Welcome back, everyone!" Yancy declared. "We're short on time--"

Translation: she really wanted to get out of here.

"--so we should get back to the show. But first, please re-introduce Anna to the stage!"

A duo of Flying Monkeys pulled the curtains apart, revealing Anna. Unfortunately, she is no longer an ape. Instead, her entire body was slathered in chocolate sauce from the neck down, a large puddle where she was standing. She was glaring daggers at the audience, and sometimes the chocolate sauce could be seen bubbling; heated from the aura of pure, barely constrained rage emanating from her. She had a look that suggested a desire to strangulate something or someone, but a certain something was stopping her.

"There's also something else that needs to be known!" Yancy announced, ignoring Anna's murderous aura. "This red button of mine isn't going to be for hammer time anymore. Instead, a poll has gone up on the website to this show, where for the next 4 hours as of this live airing, you will get to vote for one of a group of charities for the donation money to go to. 'What donation money', you ask? Why, 20% of Anna's back account balance for every time she convinces me that I should push this button!"

A few audience members cheered. Others pulled their phones out to go to the internet. Anna somehow grew angrier.

"Anyway, on with the show! Ms. Chocolate Sauce, will you do the honors?"

...Heard any good songs lately?

Yancy: "I've been listening to a lot of songs in my free time for inspiration for... something... that I'm having writer's block with. Sad to say, but I'm a little bit rusty."

Who do you consider to be your worst enemy?

Yancy: "Nova."

For Golurk: What sort of OS do you have? How does your processing power compare to modern computers? How many copies of dance.exe can you run simultaneously?

Golurk: "DOES NOT COMPUTE."

Yancy: "He has his weaknesses."

For Gallade: Art thou excited for a chance to cross blades with warriors unknown?

Gallade: "You're goddamn right, private! I'll get these spineless Wishiwashi to break themselves against me and get a taste of what true warfare is like!"

If you could go back to before Nova attacked and stop everything before it began but it meant if it meant sacrificing yourself, would you do it? What if it meant never meeting Joshua?

Yancy: "I would. Without a doubt. Nova has caused so much sadness and loss to befall everyone. I would do anything to prevent that from ever happening."

What's one thing you dislike about Joshua? What's one thing you love about him?

Yancy: "He can be a bit... overprotective sometimes, even though I know he means well. But I suppose that's just another sign that despite everything that's happened, he still has his moral compass in the right place, and hardly ever hesitates to do what's right -- like a hero in shining armor. Like that time he subdued Meridia's Magnetric even though he was got electrocuted because of it. Or when I was captured and he came to rescue me despite being outnumbered and outclassed. Or how he took care of Jirachi briefly when Celeste was presumed dead. Or--"

Anna: "H-Hey, uhhh, not to spoil things, but aren't we on a timer? Can-- I mean, may we please leave the fangirling for elsewhere? Pleasedon'tpressthebutton?"

Yancy: "Y-You're right. Sorry."

Yancy cleared her throat as a light blush filled her cheeks.

More adult ordinated: Realm of Austur or Nova.

Yancy: "...Um... I'm sorry, but I don't understand the question. Pass?"

What is the worse experience you have been in, besides the mailbag?

Yancy: "No matter what they did in Sevii, it's still nothing compared to what Sumner did to me..."

Are you ticklish? Where is your most vulnerable spot?

Yancy: "I'm not particularly ticklish, but I can't stand anything aimed for my midriff or sides. I always hated being tickled since my brother and sister would always know where to attack when we were playing."

Anna debated whether that intel could be useful for another time.

You are inside a haunted mansion which is an illusion created by King Boo. He tells you to face your greatest fear and you have to face it. Your greatest fear is brought to life and all five senses are affected. So your greatest fear might as well be in the room with you. Oh and if its something that you can overcome (person, place, thing, animal, Anna) you have to otherwise King Boo will turn you into a painting. If its something that's immposible to overcome (like death, losing someone close to you, loneliness, etc.) then you have to find a way to escape the mansion while constantly being reminded of that fear.

So two part question. What is your greatest fear? How do you overcome it?

Yancy: "Umm... Who or what is King Boo?"

Anna: "A big, scary ghost."

Yancy: "Well... I guess my greatest fear is being powerless to help those I love. I overcome it by... trying to get better? I'm already getting some tips for fighting, and escaping from traps so that what happened with Sumner -- or this show, incidentally -- wouldn't happen again."

Anna remembered that was a thing that happened and mentally kicked herself for not restraining Yancy accordingly.

How do you like your eggs?

Yancy: "As an omelette."

Do you value Courage, Wisdom, or Power the most?

Yancy: "Courage."

So what Joshua to you? Friend, Boy friend, Male Waifu?

Yancy: "I... like to think we're very close, but it's still way too soon to start thinking about him being my 'male wife'. I want to at least try to wait until the war against Nova is over."

Darkest secret?

Yancy: "Nice try."

A Monkey stagehand flew over and whispered something to Yancy. "Oh yes," she said, "apparently, the GCF and the CDM are the two charities tied for first in the poll, with the PiN not far behind! I don't know what any of those charities are for or what those acronyms mean, but I've been informed that they're trusted!"

Anna cringed.

For the Pokemon: What would you lot all like to do to Anna?

Yancy: "You wouldn't want to know, actually."

"Done!" a frightful Anna declared, tossing the last of the cards behind her back. "Completely, 100% done! You're free to go! Maybe a glass of water before you go?"

"Oh, that won't be necessary. Thank you all for coming!"

Please don't bring me here again. I'm not sure if the same trick I used to escape will work twice.

Yancy and her Pokemon bowed. Right before they banished in a puff of smoke, however, eagle-eyed viewers may have noticed Yancy pressing the button in her hand. Anna was more concerned with dashing offstage as soon as Yancy's back was turned.

Dimentio
Mystic
Marth the Horse

Voting ends tomorrow night.

Neo, the sooner you can give a concrete Yes/No, the better.

I'll try doing the Aris and Leo mailbag.

I'll try to have the intro up either today or tomorrow, but I'm really rusty and I'm going to need to do a few rough drafts before I'm happy with it.

I know I should probably impose a deadline, but it's holiday week and I imagine everyone's gonna be busy regardless, so mmmmppppphhhh.

... Sorry. I simply can't focus enough to write. At all. I can barely get past a couple paragraphs. I thought if I just had more time I could make something work, but I was clearly just fooling myself. You can go ahead and skip me. Again. I'm sorry, but I simply have too much on my mind.