~ Oz: Mailbag of Legends - Season 1 Debut Discussion!!

Oh yeah, voting ends tonight. 1 AM EST.

Ozma mailbag question deadline is Friday night.

I probably won't work on it this weekend because busy but I want the option available.

I'll stop "overreacting" about it when you pre-write the entire mailbag and GX approves it.

A young girl dressed like Anna stepped out onto the stage with a microphone.

"Ladies and Gentlemen! Boys and Girls above the age of 18! Welcome one, welcome all, to the Oz Mailbag Halloween Special! As always, I'm your lovely host Anna and today we're getting answers from a certain rambunctious rebel. Or we would be if she hadn't vanished. Sorry to disappoint folks but it looks like we have to call the whole thing-"

"That's her!"

A young girl dressed like Anna stripped to her lingerie, who actually was Anna for a matter of fact, barged onto the stage with a troupe of Flying Monkeys. She pointed pointed a metal wand and pressed a button on the end, causing the other Anna's face to deform before popping away to reveal Ozma's face underneath.

"I'm surprised you found those props, but sorry hon, we Annas can always tell an imposter."

Ozma growled as she grabbed the ditto-inspired mask off the ground and bolted back stage. "You'll never take me alive!" she called back. The Flying Monkeys were about to give chase but Anna raised her arm.

"Actually, my bosses had something better in mind for her."

---

Ozma bolted around a corner, through an unlocked door, down a hallway of dressing rooms...and then the floor opened up beneath her and she plummeted like a rock.

"Ah!!" She yelped, caught by surprise as she fell onto what felt like a big water bed. She looked up and the hatch closed above her, leaving her to sit in her dark surroundings. Her current room was a chamber dimly lit by torches. It had solid brick walls with only a single door in front of her for an opening, which looked to be made of solid metal. She and the water bed were the only other things she could see, and the room's air smelt of a dungeon.

She got up and felt the ground and the walls. They were cold, but not worn, as if they were put here not too long ago. But her deductive contemplation were suddenly interrupted by her blouse talking to her.

"Oh hello sweetie! Want to play a game?" Anna's voice crackled, emanating from the shirt itself.

Ozma's attention bolted to her torso. "That is some weird magic", she muttered, "You might think you have me trapped but I swear there's nothing more dangerous than me in a trap!"

"Might I direct your attention to the egg sac you disturbed on your way in?" Anna continued.

"What?" Ozma said, spinning around. Sure enough the water bed from earlier had begun to glow, and she could make out some sort of creature sleeping inside. It looked like some sort of genetic mutation on a flying monkey, more akin to an orangutan. Its fur was an unevenly shaved black and red, and a large horned pyramidal jackal skull covered its face. In its relaxed unconscious hands were a giant pair of shears that ware either crusted with rust or dried blood.

"You're sick!" Ozma yelled.

"Oh don't worry. He's not malicious. He just likes to play sometimes. We call him Trevor. But for your sake I suggest you listen closely. He's going to be waking up in a few minutes and I'm going to guess you don't want to be in the room when that happens. You answer questions off my list, and the door will open. Otherwise it stays shut."

Ozma's answer was held for a bit of time. She considered if she might be able to overpower Trevor (not likely), and also how easily she might be able to trick it into hacking the door open for her (also not likely). All things considered, she gave a small grin "Well at least this is more interesting. Bring on those questions."

"They're written all over this shirt. Good luck!"

"What!?" Ozma yelled again, as text written in "insane asylum walls" font began to appear all over her sleeves, the torso, and reaching around her back. She rolled her eyes. "Oh....I'm killing this girl I swear..." she muttered to herself again, whipping the Anna costume's shirt off to get a better view. Sure enough, there were questions written on the inside as well. On her undershirt, a timer appeared on her stomach and slowly started to count down from 100. Better get a move on.

---

It also turned out that the undershirt Ozma was wearing had a small spy camera planted at about chest-level. The audience outside the dungeon was treated to a low-budget first person view of Ozma's whole ordeal.

---

100

Care to defend the fashion sense?

"I wear whatever is practical. I try to present confidence and refinement so I can be someone to look up to even when physically they all have to look down. Of course, when I knew I was meeting a young girl form another dimension I'd try to appear more my physical age."

At this point, the question felt that it was sufficiently answered and removed itself from the shirt. Another popped up in its place. Sighing, Ozma spun it around, searching for better variety.

What was the hardest part of adapting to the new body? Restroom breaks?

"My centre of balance and the length of my limbs are all different. Muscle memory didn't work anymore and my proprioception went completely out of whack. That and my decrease in muscle mass are the reason I don't engage in close-quarters-combat anymore."

Favorite type of cake?

"Fruit."

Where'd you learn to fight?

"Street-fighting to survive as a child, then prison fights. When I started meeting other forgotten people from across time, I had them teach me so I can learn from their experience. Everyone is valuable from knights to wizards. I learned about anti-magic from a shaman of a long dead ancient culture."

Favorite combat style?

"Strike decisively from a distance."

Favorite targets (nose, knees, etc)?

"Eyes, head, or their entire body if the weapon is large enough."

Do you have any plans to deal with the abominations, or are you making things up as you go along?

"My goal has never been to 'deal' with the abominations. Every effort to resist them has only led to them becoming stronger, more versatile, or it creates another one. Oz's only hope is to achieve a balance. Rescue who we can, heal them, and keep them safe. The Witchspawn can be dealt with, and if we respect the land we can avoid invoking her wrath. The Straw cannot hurt us if it cannot touch us. The Tin Soldier will not hurt us if it doesn't see us. The Lionheart doesn't even kill. It simply forces others to serve, and as long as every person fights for their own independence the Lionheart's existence won't even make a difference."

60

Ozma realized that was a long answer and glanced back at Trevor. Its hands were now firmly clasped around the shears.

Top three favorite weapons, in terms of effectiveness?

"Anti-Magic, Time magic, Shrink magic"

Top three favorite weapons, in terms of how fun they are to use?

"Anti-Magic, Shrink magic, Flamethrowers"

Do you like any of the current nobles?

"I know none of them personally. I only know what they stand for, what they allow to continue, and their refusal to co-operate with each other. I therefore can only dislike all of them."

If a noble invited to a fancy dinner party with an offer to hear you out, would you go? Or assume it was a trap? Or both?

"I would go, and assume that they want information from me. If they will cooperate with me then I will allow collaboration, otherwise I would escape before they have me executed for heresy."

Do you know how to swim?

"Yes. New body made me relearn, but yes."

40



Trevor gave a small kick and Ozma thought she heard it groaning. How many of these did she need to answer?

Who's number one on your hit list - or do you hate everyone equally?

"Nobody has to die. I'm tolerant enough of royal scum, but if they try to get in my way I will not let them."

If the Ephesians and Yuelians united into an anti-bomination task force and asked you to join, would you?

"Yes, but that would never happen. The Ephesians would try to do it themselves and fail, probably creating a 5th abomination."

Are you any good at cooking?

"I make my enchanted quarters prepare it for me. It's quite a strong brand of magic."

If you could choose to eliminate any one abomination, which would it be?

"The Straw is the most dangerous and furthest reaching threat. The Witch runs a close second, but at least it kills quickly. The Straw makes it impossible to trust anyone you meet at first glance."

Would you harm an innocent to slay a monster?

"Yes. Harm can be healed, and Yggdrasil willing, death can be too."

What type of bird has the prettiest birdsong?

"Aerial drones humming as they smite a horde of flying monkeys. Music to my ears."

What's your favorite Oz-indigenous flora? Fauna?

"The resilience of simple wild grass makes it an inspiring and fantastic form of life. As far as animals go, if humans' don't count I have no other answers."

To what do you attribute your success?

"Everyone willing to support me, who I've learned from over the years, and some of whom still work with me today. I learned how to survive on my own. I was taught everything else about how to turn life into something greater than survival."

Is it better to be smart, strong, ballsy, or lucky?

"The strength that allows one to never give up."

20

What's your favorite place in Oz?

"I would mention my quarters but I do not believe that qualifies as a space within Oz. There is small crater on the western shore where I found that tent that may qualify."

Do you enjoy fishing?

"Never done it."

What's your favorite card game?

"Darts. I've met some expert card-throwers."

How do you feel about extremely awkward mercenary boys a bit older than your current physical age?

"Boys of that age would typically be too eager to throw their lives away. It's nice to see their spirit, but it's disheartening when they eventually do."

---

And with that, a click signalled that the door unlocked. And just in time too, because Trevor's eyes were open. They were glowing red, and he began to swing at the walls of his egg sac. Ozma wasted no time in bolting through the doorway, slamming the metal barricade shut behind her.

~To Be Continued~

Sorry to combo-break, but I'm adding Alvis to my nominations. Because.

VOTING BEGINS NOW!

1) Mario
2) Catie
3) Aris/Leo

Voting will end on Thursday night.

1) Joshua
2) Alvis
3) Anthea

1.) Aris/Leo
2.) Dimetio
3.) Marth the Horse

Marth
Yancy
Alvis