Team Nova - Episode 13: Rebirth

"Gross."

"No, I mean who would want to put Neal in their mouth?"

Joshua paused as he remembered who he was talking to.

"...No, wait, not that way! I meant that he'd still be crushed briefly by the time Kyogre gets to him so Kyogre would have to deal with feeling and tasting his bones", he stressed the 's' in 'bones', "and internal body fluids and I should stop talking right now."

Joshua sighed silently at himself.

"Sorry, I'm bad at this."

"I guess there's that", said Joshua. "I actually quite enjoyed this conversation."

"Hmph, well that's inconvenient."

Anna floats alone, the sole inhabitant of the void left in the wake of Arceus' universe wipe.

"Now what will I do to become even more obscenely rich...? I guess I could go back, but..."

She folds her arms and pouts.

"That's it, I'm hunting that freakin' goat deity down! Nobody shuts down my show but me!"



The audience patiently awaits their hostess' return, "treated" to a much longer than usual view of the curtain. It's a nicer curtain, too, gold embroidered and everything. Not that the audience would ever appreciate that, since by their reckoning it was always that way. Sometimes you just do a nice thing, even if nobody will thank you for it.

A portal opens backstage, and out walks Anna. She gasps upon beholding her new workplace.

"It's so... big!" That quite literally is what she said, eyes practically filled with stars. "And that curtain...!"

The executives exchange a few confused glances as Anna continues to skip through the building, marvelling at all of the changes.

"Bigger audience! Cleaner bathrooms! ...Hunkier Jake! Oh, thank you freakin' goat deity! This is so sweet~!"

"So... should we go live now...?" A very befuddled executive asks.

-----

The curtain rises, the somewhat graceous hostess taking center stage. "Hello, everyone~! Are you ready for more questions?"

"There is still more of this nonsense? ...Very well, the sooner you ask the sooner I might return to my work."

"Oh, Mewtwo!" Anna weeps, pulling the legendary Pokemon into a tight embrace. "How I missed your pissy attitude in that cold, awful void! But it's OK now, we can continue! Better than ever!"

"Unhand me, you madwoman!" Mewtwo hisses. "Blast it all, I had thought I would be free from this! Just ask your damned questions already!"

"Awww, but you're so cuddly!'

"I am NOT cuddly, vile wench!"

Anna makes an offended face, then lets go. "Fine. I guess it's time for some questions, then."

Do you eat?

"How would I obtain energy if not through food? I may have been created in a lab, but any differences between my biology and that of any Pokemon are superficial at best."

Do you ever sleep?

"I am required to rest my body and mind, although I am still more cognisant than your average human in my slumber. Perhaps it is more akin to meditation."

What would you do in your spare time if you had any?

"I have never considered that... Perhaps I would like to someday try my hand at simulated war games."

If you ever took up a weapon to fight with, would your weapon-of-choice be a spoon?

"I use a fork. It is much like a spoon... only pointier."

What's your favourite song?

"I dislike songs. Voices unaccompanied by brainwaves are unnatural and disorienting to me."

What music do you like?

"Classical and instrumental jazz."

Is Giratina the true evil, or is Arceus? (Barring the truly evil Nova, of course.)

"If there is any such thing as evil, I have never encountered it. Team Nova are merely reactionary cowards. Giratina and Arceus? They are more within the realm of forces of nature than of human ethics."

You have bowling fingers. Do you bowl?

"Bowl...? Is this some form of slang term for using Palkia drugs? I said that I am not interested!"

How do you feel about Plasma being Xerneas?

"I would have preferred Team Rocket, at least they are operationally savvy. My issue with teams Aqua, Magma and Plasma is that they think to speak for me when they do not."

What are the qualifications for becoming a part of Zero Squadron?

"Green is the one who selects them, but as I understand your average Zero Squadron member is of the highest tier in skill, capable of hunting a former comrade to the end... and not to be missed by anyone."

With your hyper-intelligent mind can you answer the eternal question: Why do bad people like Michael Bay keep getting away with their crimes?

"The most successful criminals convince the world that they are heroes to be celebrated. But who is Michael Bay...?"

And the other eternal question: How much is a life worth?

"More than the sum of its parts, I have come to realise."

And the greatest question of all: What is the perfect cooking time for a microwave burrito?

"Do not attempt to slip a trick question past me. It is obvious to anyone that eating only one microwave burrito is impossible."

Who would win in a battle royale between you, Yveltal and Xerneas?

"I have considered the scenario and in roughly eighty-seven of every one hundred possible outcomes I am victorious. However, I am not so confident as to try the remaining twenty-three percent without good reason."

Anna grins as she looks at the next cue card. "Ooh, finally my favourite part! It's time to heat things up..."

"Oh, joy of joys..." Mewtwo says sarcastically.

Keep, Pokekiss, Kill: Yveltal, Xerneas, Giratina

"What is this, a treehouse? Are we children in a primary school?"

"Just answer the question!"

"Oh, very well... Keep Xerneas as she is useful to my ends, kiss Yveltal as even I struggle to imagine how that might work and kill Giratina because again, it suits my ends."

Do you consider yourself male or female and do you care that humans have written and drawn you explicitly as both (and in one case, both at the same time)?

"Most humans assume that I am male, and I see no reason to tell them otherwise. Drawings cannot hurt me... although that human potential is wasted on such vulgarity is rather alarming."

Grant and Meridia or John Doe and Yancy?

"I do not understand this question."

"Which one do you ship?" Anna clarifies.

"Neither."

In your short lifetime, you have seen the horrors of war and witnessed the darkest depths of both humanity and Pokemon, but have you ever seen any of the more outlandish doujins out there? Actually, would it even be appropriate to show a minor such dark content?

"I would not expend time or energy on those trivialties."

Anna frowns. "Quit giving boring answers! We're running out of time!"

"Truth serum."

Anna frowns even harder. "Fine... last question."

Why did Anna and co. have a Slave Leia costume on stand-by in the first place?

"I cede the floor to Anna."

"Ah, well... It was for season three because... reasons!"

Mewtwo looks at Anna questioningly. "Is that so...?"

"If you say anything I swear to Me I will end you!" She whispers harshly. "Show's over, folks~!"

The curtain draws to a close, but a few moments later everyone in the audience could clearly hear Anna squeal in delight, yelling...

"Higher pay, too!? Oh, Arceus, if you're trying to bed me it's working...!"

Osric slammed his sword into the floor, collapsing the section beneath Grimsely. Osric sprung backwards beginning to sprint down the hall. His maneuver would only give him a few seconds of a lead. He turned a corner and- what his luck, a dead end. He enters a room to his right. A large barred window let's light into what appears to be a study, packed with books and tomes of all kinds. He turns his attention to the window. In a blur, the bars a cut to ribbons, and a moment later, he is out the open window. He considers briefly jumping down, using aura to cushion the landing, but instead he climbs higher. There is no cover below, and if Grimseley catches him, he would be dead. Thinking this, he climbs up to the roof, two floors above, scampering like an Aipom. As his head crests the edge of the roof, red flashes by, and Grimsley's scythe buries itself inches from his face. Startled, he leaps backwards, pushing off the wall onto the earth below. As he flies backwards, Grimsley leaps after him. A look of horror crosses his face as Osric realizes he can't maneuver in air well enough to defend against Grimsley as he aims for a killing blow. Futilely Osric twists in mid air at Grimsely swings his scythe downward, impaling Osric in the abdomen.

Kanto Route 11

Riley, Cheryl, Mira, and Marley hid in the cover of the trees as they neared the Mewtwo camp discovered and overrun by Nova soldiers. Riley was using his aura to scout the camp and see where the Mewtwo soldiers were being held.

"Okay, I see our 12 people are in that large, rectangular tent over there, and the rest are Nova troops, but..."

"What is it?" asked Cheryl.

"It's those Nova soldiers", said Riley. "Some of them seem somewhat uneasy."

"It matters not how they seem", said Marley. "They are the enemy, so they must be eliminated."

"Marley does have a point", said Cheryl. "For all we know, they're only nervous that Team Mewtwo would catch wind and send scary individuals like ourselves to tear them apart when they least expect it."

"Mira likes to think she's not scary", muttered Mira.

"I was just saying", replied Riley. "It's not like I was thinking about letting them be. Let's move closer."

---

Marley held her back against a large tree as he held her knives close. She was going to reach to turn on her Cosmic Drive when she heard shouting. She thought one of the others had begun attacking, but as the yelling didn't match typical cries of pain, she moved slightly closer to listen in and see what was happening.

"You've picked a grand time to suddenly wuss out on us!"

"Screw you! You think Nova actually cares what happens to us?! After the thing with the Seviis, I've had it and can't take it anymore! I quit!"

"Watch your mouth, boy! You know what happens to deserters, don't you?"

An argument?

"Let 'im go, boss. It's just one guy, why not let him go?"

"Because private, I--"

"Actually, you know what? Eff it. I'm on his side."

"Et tu, Bob Nelson?! Is there anyone else here whose spine is giving out?!"

A period of silence...

"Well this is actually kinda funny. About a third of the camp suddenly decides to be the hero."

"Fine! You want it that way? I'll give out the punishment for treason myself!"

Realizing what was going to happen, Marley acted. She sprinted across the camp with her Agility-boosted speed and slashed the throat of the apparent commanding officer, who crumpled to the ground. She addressed the other soldiers.

"If you're sane and don't want to be in Nova anymore, keep your hands where we can see them!"

The Nova soldiers who weren't either Nova sympathizers or people smart enough to play along to avoid being sliced quickly sprang up from their idle positions and began reaching for their firearms and Pokeballs. Marley zipped across the camp to meet the would-be attackers and strike before they could. One slash across the throat... Another through the wrist before stabbing through the stomach... Kick another one's rifle away before spinning and inserting the knife again from behind... Slash the opening mechanism of another one's Pokeball to break it before thrusting a knife through the man's knee, kicking the ankle of the other foot, and judo throwing him above her... Repeat...

One soldier got shot from behind as Riley sprang from the tall grass to take out the buddy standing right next to him by knocking him to the ground with a roundhouse, getting on top of him, and striking him in the face. From the other side of the camp, another soldier was thrown back as a Hariyama suddenly struck him with a Bullet Punch. A trio of men with rifles ran out of their tents, only to be telekinetically grabbed by Mira and flung somewhere far away to the east.

The four trainers and Hariyama regrouped at the center of the camp once all the hostiles had been disposed of. Riley raised the palm of his hand at the remaining Nova soldiers and formed an Aura Sphere.

"If you know what's good for you... run."

The soldiers began backing away. Just before they turned to sprint, one of them hastily took of his shirt, threw it in front of him, raised his hands.

"Hey man, don't worry about it, I'm done. I'll just live off life as a carpenter or something."

The man ran with the rest of the deserters. Cheryl thought aloud to himself.

"So it's true. Their actions regarding the Sevii Islands have caused defection rates among Nova troops to increase..."

"We can think about that later", said Riley. "Right now, we have POWs that need extraction."

---

Cheryl's Blissey finished using Softboiled on the last injured Mewtwo soldier.

"That's all of them", she said. "Mira, get ready to teleport."

"Okie-doke!" said Mira. "Everyone, start holding hands with a partner! If you don't comply, Mira won't come back to pick up stragglers!"

As the soldiers complied (albeit expressing embarrassment at the fact that they're essentially making a Circle of Friendship), Mira saw Marley observing her Cosmic Drive at the corner of the room and skipped over to pat her on the back. "Great job there, Marley! You're about as good with that Cosmic Drive as... well, Mira!"

"...That's just it", said Marley. She showed Mira her Drive. It was turned off. "It was turned off this whole time. I haven't had any of my Pokemon use Agility ever since the battle at Flower Paradise."

"Wait...what? Are you saying the Cosmic Drive glitched or something and now you're stuck with a Baton Passed Agility?"

"...It appears to be that way, yes", replied Marley.

Cheryl and Riley walked over to them. "I'm sorry, I couldn't help but overhear", said Cheryl. "Have you tried using your Drive again to see if the effect goes away?"

"It doesn't", said Marley. "Normally, boosts such as Agility are meant to wear off over time, or once they're returned to their Pokeballs. To see that it's effects linger for so long... I'm concerned..."

"You seem to be able to move normally when you want to, though", observed Riley. "Does this mean that you're self-consciously able to control when and where Agility affects you?"

"I suppose so", said Marley. "I do not feel like I experience difficulty performing everyday tasks."

"Then the way I see it, you have nothing to worry about", said Riley. "If anything, it strikes me as a blessing more than a curse; especially after what you were able to do a few minutes ago. Should something have caused negative effects on you, Mewtwo would've noticed something when you met him last week."

Marley smiled. "I suppose you are correct, Riley.

...But enough idle talk. I do believe those soldiers over there are growing impatient."

---

Mira teleported Cheryl, Riley, Marley, and the 12 soldiers in front of the Realgam front gates. It took a while to talk down the seemingly easily-startled front guards that they were not a threat.

"Well gang", said Riley to his friends. "Dismissed. I'll be up at Mewtwo's giving a report."

Yancy put her back against the wall and slowly moved her legs into a slightly more comfortable sitting position.

"I-It's fine" she lied. "It's more bruised than anything, and the pain should recede a bit if I don't move for a while. It's nothing that... a Wish couldn't take care of.

Still, thank you Grant. For offering to help, I mean."

---

"Hey, you need the lift too? I'll keep it open for ya'!"

"Yes, thank you!" replied Curtis.

Rosa nodded in gratitude at the man in the elevator as she and Curtis went inside. Cobalion and Keldeo came close behind and joined them inside. Good thing the elevator was spacious, otherwise it would've been uncomfortably crowded in there.

"Mewtwo's office, please", said Curtis.

"Don't worry about it..." Grant says dismissively, although he was certainly worrying about it. "We all have to look out for each other. And besides, I wouldn't even be worthy of my name if I didn't offer help to a hurt girl... Er, no offense."

The footsteps draw closer still, although a way's down the hall yet.

-----

Black raises an eyebrow on seeing Cobalion and Keldeo. "With company like that, where else?" He asks rhetorically. "That works for me, though... I'm headed there as well."

Could that girl be Hilda's cousin...? Maybe it's best to test the waters a bit, first.

"You look awfully familiar." He says to them. "Should I know you from somewhere?"