Team Nova - Episode 13: Rebirth

INTERMISSION

"So..." Anna inquired, her finger to her chin. "You want to talk business?"

"That's right!" exclaimed Xerosic, doing his best to look serious in spite of the clown make-up and rainbow-colored suit and abnormally large afro wig. "I wish to purchase that fascinating contraption you used to bring me here! I'll buy it at a high price!"

"...Why?" asked Anna. "All it mostly does is bring people over in skimpy swimwear. The roulette thing is still a prototype upgrade."

"It shouldn't take a genius like myself to be able to note the endless applications of that marvelous machine!" gushed Xerosic. "You've managed to pull me from my important research across dimensions, seemingly transmuted my belongings into this atrocious appearance while doing so! With such a thing, we can bring ne'er-do-wells like Saturn or Celena to us, disarm them with pedestrian clothing, and capture or exterminate them on the spot!

So name me an offer!"

Anna thought a little. "Weeeell, we can't sell this model since it's practically the cornerstone of the show now, buuuuuut I can send payments to the manufacturer for purchase -- including 'shipping' from my behalf, of course!"

"It's a deal," said Xerosic. "How much?"

Anna wrote down on a notepad and tore off a page before eagerly handing it to the scientist.

"...What does this symbol mean?"

Anna deflated as she quickly realized her dreams of making a quick buck out of a scam were dashed. "...Oh. Right. Your currency is different... Oh, look at the time! The show's about to start!"

Anna yoinked the torn page away from Xerosic as she ran backstage to see if everything is in check. Xerosic clenched a gloved fist. "Curses, foiled again. Oh well. I tried!"

-----

The velvet curtains parted as Anna trotted onstage to meet the merely-half-full audience. Apparently, the part of the fanbase only around for fanservice did not find the slightly unattractive middle-aged man in clown costume and make up to be visually appealing to them for some reason. But eh, who needs 'em?

"Welcome back!" Anna announced. "Now, I said we'd look for a unicycle, and there are good news and bad news on that front. Good news: we found one. Bad news: this dude is about as acrobatic and physically capable of riding it and performing tricks as a Grimer is capable of cleaning up after itself. So unfortunately, the circus is not coming to town."

A isolated but loud booing noise was heard from somewhere in the back. It did not relent. Anna pointed at the fellow with her hand -- her middle, index, and thumb outstretched, forming a "gun". Anna winked and gave a small "psshh" as she "shot" the fellow. The fellow detonated in a cloud of smoke that left only the clothes they were wearing behind. Their final exclamation was a Wilhelm scream.

Anyway, enough delay, let's get the main event of this play underway!"

The spotlights shone on Xerosic, who sat on a wooden chair on the middle of the stage. As rehearsed, he reluctantly honked the horn he still held on his hand. Exactly one person in the audience chuckled.

"Begin!"

Are you a Doctor, Xerosic? What was your education? What are you a doctor of?

Xerosic: "I am no mere doctor, child! I am a professor! I'll have you know that were it not for a few undeserved accusations of malpractice, I would have graduated top-of-the-class!"

Anna: "Class of what?"

Xerosic: "Science class!"

Anna: "...Moving on!"

"This is going to be a long one," Anna muttered under her breath.

Has anyone told you your hair looks like a Larvesta? Is that natural?

Xerosic: "No and yes, respectively."

What pokemon do you prefer to use personally?

Xerosic: "I used to possess a Crobat and Malamar. Of the two, the Malamar was undeniably the most useful one. It was always the best way of exterminating a few undesirables with hypnotism. Whenever someone would pry a little too far into Lysandre's business at his cafe, Malamar was able to "persuade" most of them to wrap a noose around their necks that night, or drop a toaster in a bathtub, or bring the sharp end of a knife to their wrists. A few stretched necks were a small price to pay for our ideals, and they were planned to die off in the end anyway. Of course, I got a bit trigger-happy with commanding such incidents to occur. I paid for my hubris by causing an investigation to occur that eventually exposed Team Flare's dealings and forced me to abandon them and my Pokemon to escape law enforcement. I've learned from my mistakes.

...You said this was truth serum that I drank earlier?" asked Xerosic. "I'm quite impressed at how effective and fast-acting it is."

Anna shivered at how the self-proclaimed scientist didn't stop his cheery demeanor. "Next!"

Would you say you do mad science or just mad engineering?

Xerosic: "Engineering is a form of application of the sciences, my boy, and thus I am compelled to excel at it! On a side note, if it's 'mad', but it's in the name of acquiring more knowledge, pushing pre-established boundaries, or finding solutions to a problem, then it is not 'mad'. 'Mad' would be attempting to transmute lead into gold, or creating yet another Mewtwo just 'for the hell of it', as the youngsters nowadays would say."

Anna: "Which you've never done."

Xerosic: "Correct! I've merely thought of creating another Mewtwo. Very briefly. It was discarded quickly."

How's your love life?

Xerosic: "I have always been too occupied pursuing other callings in life than wasting times pursuing a mate. In Layman's terms, I do not care enough to have one."

Please rank Lysandre, Aliana, Bryony, Celosia, and Mable on a scale of 1-10 for all of: A) Skill with Pokemon, B) Value to Team Flare, and C) Sex appeal

Xerosic: "Well now, I have not heard of most of those names since... Well, since Team Flare was disbanded! Regardless, I considered the scientists to be expendable and interchangeable, so I suppose Lysandre takes top marks by default. If you had given mention to Malva, then I may have had something to talk about."

What colour is the Kalos flag and why is it entirely white?

Xerosic: "Hah! Never heard that one before."

His voice dripped in sarcasm.

Are you a Diantha fan?

Xerosic: "I myself am not. However, Lysandre seemed to have in entranced with her for a time. Even tried to sway her to Team Flare's cause for a time, from my understanding. Bah! Such an attempt was doomed from the start!"

Are you a Crobatman fan?

Xerosic: "The only reason I know what that is is thanks to Emma's commentary on that masked individual from the Sevii Seven. The answer is in the negative."

What's your favourite work of art?

Xerosic: "There used to be simple sketch of a windmill as an exhibit in the Lumiose Museum. I quite enjoyed the simplicity of the image and the brushwork that went into it. It is also a symbol of the greatness that is the sciences behind the creation of such an ingenious mechanism. I'm sure a number of people of inferior intellect would scoff at my answer and attempt to recommend nonsense such as Mr. Briney's Compassion or Shaymin, the Gratitude Pokémon."

How useful are male models to you?

Xerosic: "In another time, I suppose they could serve their niche by enticing others to convert to our ideals with their appearance and supposed charisma. Currently, however, we require fighters and the intelligent; not the stupid masses who would follow a man's words based on appearance alone."

Did you design the Team Flare uniform? If not, who did and... why?

Xerosic: "I did not design it... Has Lysandre ever appear in this program?"

Anna: "Nope. Not yet, anyway. No idea if it'll happen."

Xerosic: "Well ask him about the uniform, because I haven't a clue."

Hail Hydreigon?

Xerosic: "That organization is dead to me. I mean that figuratively, but they are also dead literally, so that's doubly good for me."

How Can Mirrors Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real?

Xerosic: "I've read fortune cookies with better philosophical ponderings."

What's your best creation?

Xerosic: "The Expansion Suit. I'm quite proud of it, and I'm constantly thinking up upgrades to further it's potential."

What was your first project or invention and what got you into science?

Xerosic: "A model of the solar system in elementary; as with all great minds, I think."

What's the most useful species of Pokemon, excluding legendaries?

Xerosic: "Why have one when you can potentially have all of them?! Ditto is the obvious answer!"

Anna: "But aren't Ditto's transforming abilities slightly limited? The most Pokemon I've seen Ditto be able to transform to without directly seeing them is 10 different ones, tops. Out of hundreds."

Xerosic: "Surely, nothing a little 'mad' science can't fix!"

How would you rate each other faction out of 10, considering each at their peak?

Xerosic: "Xerneas is a 6, Mewtwo's an 8, old Yveltal's a 1 (don't tell that within earshot of Hugh), Galactic needs to get wiped off the face of the galaxy, and Nova's a 10 who dropped down to a 7 given recent events."

What's your thoughts on Hugh?

Xerosic: "Competent and easy to manipulate. What more can I ask for? A lot more, granted, but beggars can't be choosers, as they say."

As her father, how would you react to Emma dating another boy? (Or girl. That's not a bad thing).

Xerosic: "I may end up making this hypothetical boy (or girl) quietly disappear. Romances would only distract her from her duties, and that is not something that I can afford."

How would you define beauty as a concept?

Xerosic: "Beauty is the inherent ability of a person or thing to be able to advance humanity as a species. A real shame such forms of evolution are held back by humanity as a species."

If you could control Arceus, how would a world shaped like that look?

Xerosic: "I have learned a fair amount from my time at Team Flare. I learned that unfortunately, humanity is plagued by parasites of all forms: greed, hatred, pride, selfishness, and all sorts of similar bad words. The only way to succeed in this tainted world is at the detriment of others -- Nova's success is a definitive example of that. It's as if you take a beautifully drawn painting, and then splash black oil all over the finish canvas; it becomes tarnished beyond repair. The world as it stands right now is an ugly mess, and it will continue to be such regardless of the outcome of this war. As such, I believe humanity needs to begin again; save only a few elite specimens of humanity, and wipe out all other life and start over with a clean slate -- with a genius like me leading said elite to a new stage of evolution, of course. Pokemon will unfortunately need to perish as well; and not for petty reasons like Maurice's motivations. No no, it is only because history would repeat should Pokemon remain -- they will eventually be tamed and once again be used as weapons of battle to subjugate the weak. For the status quo to change, this is what must be done. And whether it be through Arceus, Perfect Zygarde, or the Ultimate Weapon, I endeavor to make this a reality."

What do you think about modern-day Lysandre?

Xerosic: "I had thought he would be the best person to lead the chosen few, but it appears he has gone soft." Xerosic shrugged. "Doesn't matter to me any more. If he wants it, he will die like the rest."

Team Flare used to only allow the wealthy and beautiful, yet your adoptive daughter was poor and homeless. What are your true feelings about Emma?

Xerosic: "My first thought was a lamentation of how I've been driven to search the bottom of the metaphorical barrel for aid. She then turned out to be more useful to me than I initially expected. Is currently living much longer than I initially expected, too. If my plans succeed, it would be cruel to exterminate her with the rest of the world's population; even I'm not that heartless! I will likely allow her to live with the rest of the elites to reboot mankind's direction and further it's evolution. I see no reason to extend this opportunity to Mimi, however."

"...Well, that was more morbid than expected!" declared Anna. "Thank you for joining us today, Professor!"

"My options were somewhat limited," Xerosic stated. He honked the horn again, causing another lone chuckle somewhere in the otherwise silent audience.

"Regardless, thank you for cooperating," Anna said. She twirled around and snapped her finger, causing Xerosic return back to canon in a puff of smoke.

"This has been the Team Nova Mailbag! Check back on us this Friday as we'll announce the guest for the next episode! Stay great, and tah-tah!"

The audience cheered as the curtains slowly closed.

That went from uplifting to downer real quick.

Joshua was about to cross his arms without thinking before remembering that he had a handcuff to hide. "I'm listening."

Crap.


"Sure, come on in," said Joshua, stepping to the side. "If I had drinks stored away, I'd offer some."

"Nothing important," Joshua said.

...Yet?

Joshua's Pokemon each made way for the guests, each with a nod or wave of greeting, as they went over to the pair of chairs at the round oak table where meals were usually had. Joshua, meanwhile, swiveled the chair for his work desk for himself.

"You were saying?"

...I'd ask why, but I feel like it would be a long story.

"Keldeo's usually with Cobalion, who's either training or with Rosa and Curtis most of the time," Joshua answered. "I don't know anything about Shaymin, and if one is in the tower, that's news to me... Although... Yancy's mentioned that Riley's been surprisingly knowledgeable about Gracidea flowers lately."

Even identified Grant's condition almost immediately and had been keeping a close eye on him, apparently...

"In fact, I heard word that he and some others invaded a Nova base at the Flower Paradise for some reason. Shaymin were once known to visit that place. I would suggest giving him a call to see if he knows anything useful," Joshua concluded. "Best lead I got."

Joshua gave a small half-smile upon being asked for an autograph.

Well, I don't usually do this with the other soldiers since this is no time for an autograph signing... But, maybe just this once.

"Heh, sure," said Joshua, taking the Pokeball. Manaphy anticipated this and glided over to him with a pen, which Joshua accepted. With the pen on his right hand, he uncapped it and scribbled it on a blank sheet of paper on his desk to make sure it worked.

"I don't know exactly what they're doing at this time, but she," he nodded his head toward Meridia, "is Riley's superior, and I have Curtis--"

Oh, wait.

"...Riley might have Curtis's contact info", he backpedaled. "So, how do you want me to sign it?"

Cute.

Joshua signed it before returning the Pokeball. "The fact we know each other is mostly sheer coincidence, surely."

"Thank you!" Molly said while taking the pokeball back. "Coincidences are just the universe's way of reminding us that it exists..." Molly thought but decided not to voice.

"I guess um...we can stop bothering you now. Thanks again. Sorry again about Eusine earlier." She said while expressing as much politeness as she could muster. "Meridia...um, you've been very kind. I could use help finding Riley and Curtis though."

Joshua gave a bow and opened the door to his room again. "Come back any time."